Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I see through liars

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How do I convince flat earthers that the earth is round?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

Who is the most annoying character in the Office?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I'm straight, so why do I love watching guys cum?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

‘Ballerina’ Dances To $3.75M+ In Previews & Great 93% Audience Score Equal To ‘John Wick 4’; ‘Lilo & Stitch’ Crosses $300M+ – Friday AM Box Office Update - Deadline

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

NASA Cuts Funding Support For Lunar, Planetary and Space Sciences Conferences - NASA Watch

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Newspaper headlines: Britain 'battle ready' and 'new Maddie search' - BBC

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Live coverage: SpaceX reschedules Starlink delivery mission for midnight hour Tuesday - Spaceflight Now

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Why does Christianity push reconciliation after a partner cheats? Mine had a 7-year affair with someone half my age. He cheated and lied. He is not the same to me.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Listen to the eerie sounds of Mars recorded by a NASA rover - Mashable

I have a reading level above third grade

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Owen Wilson Brings Clever, Funny “Stick” in Under Par - Roger Ebert

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why does Rahul Gandhi have so many haters?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Why have Indian girls almost stopped wearing sarees?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Is it possible to revive a dead person in real life with black magic?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand how hurricane paths work

Do guys ever want to suck a dick even though they are straight?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I took the same Oath and took it seriously